When a Couple Isn’t Two, But One

There’s no doubt that being in love is the best feeling in life. We’ve all experienced this once or more, and inevitably, when we remember those times, we sigh and miss them.

When we’re in love, everything around us transforms, everything seems beautiful, and life becomes something wonderful. The color in our cheeks changes, our heart races, we feel and look wonderful, and we’re able to face the whole world for that love.

We begin a relationship, it continues many times, and later we become serious, we get married, and we have children. Some problems arise, which we solve together. And suddenly, we find that the poetry no longer exists. It all boils down to paying the household bills, sharing some activities more out of habit than real desire, and the questioning begins.

We remember the time we were in love, and it doesn’t seem true that that person is the same one who sleeps with us every day today. What happened along the way? Did we change? Did our lives change? Where is the love that seemed capable of moving the world?

For my part, I confess that I’m not Don Juan, much less a love psychologist, but the truth is that the secret to getting along well as a couple is to tolerate each other, and over time, differences become similarities, and when those differences are smoothed out, the couple is no longer two, but one.

In a relationship, the effort must be collective, not just from the man or the woman, but from both. It’s worth clarifying that relationships don’t just happen. We create them ourselves, and they are the result of a conscious effort.

That’s why maintaining love requires being aware of what the other person needs to be happy, and being honest with ourselves about what we feel and are willing to give to the other.

Often, after establishing a relationship that gratifies us, we dedicate our efforts to other areas of our lives and gradually abandon it, dismissing it as something already achieved. We forget that a relationship is a process, something that is constantly changing, and therefore, it is necessary to continue putting energy into it, also constantly.

Realizing that the course of the relationship depends on us, and that we can shape our own destiny, makes us feel strong enough to face life with its daily vicissitudes. It makes us optimistic and hopeful to live every day of our existence in love with the person we choose to share until the last day of our lives.

It’s worth concluding with what the brilliant British musician John Lennon said “I’ve experienced everything, and I can assure you that there is nothing better than being in the arms of the person you love.”

Translated by Aliani Rojas Fernandez

José Miguel Ávila Pérez
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